The story behind “Woman beyond Mother”

Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life. This sentence characterises well the journey I embarked on 3 years ago. But let me rewind for a second and go back to my youth and my twenties to give you a bit of context here.

How I saw myself
I’ve never considered myself as really fat, but more as the “chubby” kind, with curves (not the nice or harmonious ones though), with a certain lack of elegance and confidence around body image. And it certainly didn’t help that my 2 younger sisters were much taller and thinner than me, and more into fashion too, which definitely made them stand out of the crowd, and made me more conscious of what I wasn’t.

The teenage and college years, married life
Looking back on my teenage years I feel bad to have focused so much on image and weight when it surely shouldn’t have dictated how I felt. Life goes on, college and its junk food and lack of exercise didn’t help to achieve a body I was comfortable in.
I get married, and literally have to start fasting 10 days before the wedding as my dress (last fitted 3 months before) doesn’t fit anymore and can’t be closed.
My husband and I are all about good food, treating ourselves as often as we can and organizing lots of get togethers with our friends that all include food of course.

I become pregnant and the weight goes up
Fast forward a little, we relocate from Paris to London and I found out that I am pregnant which doesn’t go according to my plans. The sudden news makes me feel quite miserable. At first I have problems accepting the idea of being pregnant and soon I see this as a “my body is being held hostage” kind of situation. Everyone (whether they are family or complete strangers) tells you what you are allowed to do or not do, eat or not eat, filling your head with do’s and dont’s and tons of advices you actually don’t want to hear. Since when did pregnancy (ultimately one of the most personal experience for a woman) become such a public thing where everyone feels entitled to do or say what comes to their mind (I’ll definitely come back to this in a future blog post).

To overcome the anxiety I was feeling, I developed my own coping mechanism which was to go to the gym and take it out on the treadmill, the cross trainer and the fitness area. I started exercising very regularly and saw this fitness routine as a way of feeling empowered, in control, and in an environment where I was not defined by my pregnant state.

The goal was never to lose or minimise the weight taken during the pregnancy (or if it was then it was a big failure as I took a total of 38 lbs), the goal was to:

• stay active and feel alive
• remain in control of my body and its capacities
• overcome this feeling of physical limitation that grew proportionally with the bump

My postpartum body
Baby finally came out (induced at 41+5 – it was about time) and 3 months later when I had lost all the baby weight (at least that’s what the scale said) it certainly didn’t look this way when I looked in the mirror. All I could see were my c-section scar, loose skin, fat here and there, and a flabby body. I didn’t recognize myself, I cried often over it, I couldn’t get my head around what pregnancy had done. Sounds harsh I know, I should probably had worshipped it for the baby it had brought me, the miracle of life it had produced but that was not what happened. And one day, after yet another complaint about how I looked and felt, my husband replied:

“it’s not like you had the perfect body before either so stop idealizing what you looked like and if you are not happy with what you see then do something about it and stop complaining”

This comment was hard to receive but probably the best thing that ever happened to me (thanks Love). I got my ass back in the gym, trained hard and regularly for 3 months and … tadada … nothing happened. Like literally nothing, no weight loss, no toning up, nada!
I was really disappointed and thought that my dedication or consistency were not to blame but surely something was done wrong. So I booked a coach for 3 sessions to get a personalized program for the goals I was trying to achieve, and the magic happened. After another 3 months my body was toning up, I could feel muscles I didn’t even know existed and felt comfortable in my skin for the 1st time in years. And after another 3 months of an active lifestyle I had even lost 5 more pounds than my pre-pregnancy weight, my breathing was improved, I could go for longer and faster runs, everything felt better.

41 weeks baby 1  VS.  1 year postpartum

Selfishly I was happy to prove wrong all the people that had told me during pregnancy that I would never get my body back.
I got my body back, I actually even got a better body back. And truth be told my body wasn’t what I was the most excited about, it was the overall feelings of accomplishment, strength and capability. It was this hidden motivation and dedication to a goal that I discovered within me that surprised me most.

Second pregnancy and second post partum journey
We found out that I was pregnant with baby 2 just before Gaspard turned 1. What a shock ! And quite frankly I was a little frustrated to have gone through all this hard work on myself to go through another pregnancy so quickly but so be it, and off I am on another journey, still keeping active, going to the gym and having people telling me I really shouldn’t run, push weights, do planking… Same feeling of being limited, same need to exercise to feel alive and not to be defined by this pregnant status.

Fast forward 9 months, Constance is born and I took 40 lbs this time. I feel desperate to have taken that much weight again but I know that I have gone down this road once, so can certainly go back to training hard, being focused on my goals and make it happen a second time.
This time around I know a little better what to do and not do fitness wise, and I embark on the BBG journey. My sister told me about the Bikini Body Guide written by some Australian fitness guru that is a 12 weeks program including 3 x 30 min sessions per week focusing on either upper body, legs, abs and core, or total body workout. I thought I would give it a go and coupled this with regular running. Results are there. 7 months after Constance was born I am in the best shape of my life, feeling energized and empowered, fit and healthy. Fitness, running and an active lifestyle is really now part of my routine and I couldn’t live without it.

40 weeks baby 2 VS. 7 months postpartum

Third pregnancy
Being pregnant seems like all I have done these past 4 years and it has. Because baby 3 is on the way.
A new job, demanding kids, a busy husband and, let’s face it, the fatigue that comes along being pregnant while having to raise 2 toddlers have unfortunately decrease the amount of time I can dedicate to it, but I still make it a priority and try to squeeze in a small workout or a quick run whenever I can. I have exercised throughout this 3rd pregnancy too and feel good. I didn’t weigh myself but am pretty sure I will set a record this time and likely reach the 45 lbs taken, but who cares, I’ll just go through the weight loss battle and getting back in shape for the 3rd time.

 

 

 

 

 

So there it is, I have shared the reason why, why I believe that all mums should take care deeply of themselves, why they should fight to get this me-time, why they should make themselves a priority and should engage in an active and fit lifestyle. I am a strong advocate of this lifestyle because it has had so much impact on all other areas of my life.

• From a mother’s perspective: I have more patience, I am more balanced, I like that I am active and have energy to play with my kids, carry them around and do tons with them without feeling physically diminished or out of breath.
• From a woman’s perspective: I am happier because I like what I see in the mirror, I have more self-esteem and confidence, I like that I fit in my clothes, I feel sexier and my husband feels it too. I am a woman beyond being just a mother.

And while you might think this doesn’t apply to you, or that you are not into sports nor a gym rat, that you are all about unhealthy food and love sitting around. Well think again. Take the 1st step, take a chance on yourself. I was all about eating Oreos while watching Grey’s Anatomy. And while I still do those from time to time, they are not what I consider to be qualitative “me time” anymore and I get so much more out of my new routine then I did previously.

So this being said, I wish you all a fit and sweaty journey, and I’ll surely be sharing my 3rd postpartum journey with you as this baby will be out in a few weeks now.